Sex therapy is based on conventional psychotherapy. What do we know about conventional psychotherapy? It frequently involves diving into cognitive, emotional, and physical aspects of life’s issues. Depending on the psychotherapist’s focus, there might be more emphasis on resolving the impact of trauma, or there might be a heavier focus on making sense of difficult childhood dynamics. Many people seek out psychotherapy when they are struggling under the weight of depression, or having trouble functioning through intense anxiety. Others find psychotherapy when they might find themselves at a “lull” in life, not content with its current form but unsure of where to go next. Therapy is an excellent modality for someone to feel heard and seen, offering a chance to work through obstacles and see life from a new perspective.

Then, what is sex therapy? In essence, it’s based on the premise of traditional psychotherapy, but with a focus on issues related to sex and intimacy. Sex therapists help individuals struggling with physical pain or dysfunction when it comes to the mechanics of sex. Sex therapists also help individuals who are struggling to connect with their own libido. Many individuals experience what’s known as “desire discrepancy” which describes a difference in libido between two partners within a romantic relationship. In sex therapy, you’ll gain understanding of the dynamics contributing to the difference, and learn strategies to help you feel more balanced within yourself as well as within your relationship.

Difficulties related to sex and intimacy can sometimes stem from experiences in early adolescence or childhood. This might include traumatic events, but it also might include a high degree of sexual shame or negative core beliefs about one’s sexuality, with no ties to any specific “event.” A sex therapist is a safe, shame-free space to talk through the nuances of childhood dynamics, difficult memories associated with early relationships, and your relationship with your own body and sexuality. 

Shame thrives in the dark, but the light of awareness and acknowledgement can transform shame into self-understanding and acceptance. Sex therapy is like conventional talk therapy, with a focus on sex and intimacy, where you’ll learn actionable strategies to make changes in your experience on Day 1. 

Female pelvic dysfunction can manifest in different ways. Some people experience it primarily in the vagina, such as vaginismus or vaginal dryness (resulting in pain/discomfort). Others experience pain in the labia or vulva, the tissue surrounding the vagina. Still others may have trouble with clitoral orgasm, or even no history of orgasm. 

Sometimes these issues present because of physiological reasons–nerve ending configuration, pain and stimulus sensitivity (which varies among individuals), or history of physical trauma. Other times, these issues present because the individual is in a chronic habit of holding tension in the pelvic area. Just like some people experience shoulder or back pain when they are stressed–others hold tension in different parts of the body, including the pelvis.

This condition is a severe tightening and contraction of the vaginal walls/muscles resulting in complete inflexibility within the vaginal canal. Not only does vaginismus interfere with successful penetrative sex, but it can also interfere with basic medical exams such as PAP smears or using menstrual products. Some women also experience intense physical pain associated with the vaginismus, and learn to avoid that area of the body completely due to intense discomfort.

What causes vaginismus? Some women are born with the condition due to their physiology. Others might be born with normal tissue, but habitually carry tension in their pelvis, not realizing they are contracting their pelvic floor almost all of the time. Years of muscle contraction leads to inflexibility and actual physical changes of the muscle’s structure. 

What is the treatment? Treatment for vaginismus is frequently 2-fold: working with a pelvic floor physical therapist, as well as a sex therapist, offers the support needed to change one’s habit of contracting those muscles.

It's largely understood that most women experience orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation. It's a minority of women who experience vaginal orgasm, although if this has never been your experience, it is possible to manifest it through specific techniques. However, many women have never experienced orgasm, whether through clitoral stimulation or otherwise. The clinical term is "anorgasmia," and it affects 10-15% of women (although this is likely underreported). The clinicians at Life Force have successfully treated women in this group, helping individuals at all adult age ranges experience orgasm and make pleasure a regular part of their intimacy pattern.

This describes nondescript pain in the vulva and/or labia. While it can have physiological causes, it can also be related to anxiety. This is because anxiety is the result of increased stress hormones in the body (cortisol and adrenaline) which "load" the muscles with potential energy. When that energy has nowhere to go, or is experienced in a chronic fashion, it can lead to pain and inflammation.

This is an autoimmune dysfunction leading to the deterioration of tissue in the vaginal area. People can experience it as itchiness or pain, but it often has no sensation associated. Sometimes there are lesions, but many times it is simply the atrophy of tissue.Item description

Similar to female sexual dysfunction, men can experience trouble getting their bodies to do what they want because of the impact of anxiety. Why does anxiety cause so much sexual dysfunction? It's because anxiety = adrenaline and cortisol in the body, which signals "fight or flight." This is the opposite of feeling sexually aroused! By training the body to feel safe and relaxed and more regularly in the parasympathetic nervous response (which we will discuss in our session) it will naturally ripple out to better sexual performance.

This describes any issue related to getting or maintaining an erection, including feeling "too soft" or struggling to maintain momentum towards orgasm. This issue is most commonly related to anxiety, and while many men choose to treat it with a pill (such as viagra) others want to explore non-medication solutions. The therapists at Life Force routinely help men manage anxiety related to this issue, and build new momentum in establishing new and reliable patterns for intimate encounters.

Commonly misunderstood, premature ejaculation is a common symptom of anxiety, especially as it relates to sexual performance. Individuals can be worried that they will lose their erection, or they may simply struggle to pace themselves and signal to their bodies that it's ok to slow down. This is a condition that responds wonderfully to techniques taught in sex therapy, and it's all about engaging the parasympathetic nervous response.

This condition includes difficulty reaching orgasm. Despite adequate stimulation, some individuals find it very difficult or even rare to experience orgasm. Treatment involves examining potential contributing factors (such as medication side effects) and strengthening the body's ability to remain in the parasympathetic nervous response.